Granny is gone.

Granny passed away around 6:30 yesterday morning.

how are we feeling?

In a single sentence I can sum up how I feel at this very moment.

Life sucks, and then you die!

Granny update

Mom just called. Granny is getting dehydrated now.

Smoking outside

It's nights like tonight that I wish I smoked inside. I mopped all the downstairs hard floors today and the house has a nice pine smell which smoke would wipe out in a heartbeat, but still...I'm getting eaten alive by skeeters!!!

At 10 minutes to midnight what are normal people doing? Mostly, they are sleeping unless they have a good reason to be awake. I'm outside getting (as my cousin once said) a breath of fresh air out of a box while fighting the true vampires of this world...Florida mosquitoes! It has rained for the last week solid, so the little boogers are EVERYWHERE!!!. It doesn't help that I have the porch light on in order to see the keyboard when my fingers forget where they were and have to go back to the "home row" lol.

Why am I out here? It's simple really. No, I'm not contemplating solutions to the pressing problems facing our world. I'm out here because I have silverware in the sink waiting to be washed and I don't want to wash them at the moment. They need to soak for a few more minutes before they will be ready to wash...and if you believe that I've got a bridge to sell ya too!

I've been on a music kick today. I've been a real B***H too. I ate supper standing in the kitchen and then went out to the porch as not to inflict myself on my family. Yeah, it was that bad. I was in a halfway bad mood earlier and then I took a nap. Apparently I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and set the sucker on fire. Anyway, back to the music thing. I've been listening to "Your Love Is My Drug" by Ke$ha, "Rockstar" by Nickelback and "21 Guns" by Green Day ALL DAY!!! The Ke$ha song I listen to for the "lovesick crackhead" line. Seriously, I'll sit through the whole song just for that one line. :) Speaking of...I'll listen to that one more time and then get to that silverware. Later!

I feel like CRAP! Jim's hoping I'm not getting sick again. I think it's just stress. Hospice took over Granny's care yesterday. I have to decide wether or not to take my kids over to see her before the end. I've asked how she was mentally, and was told "about the same". That's not real good. That means at least half the time she is 'talking out of her head'. She thinks my Uncle (her oldest son) is her husband. And Uncle Dewaine's girlfriend, who has been caring for her right beside him for months now, is "that hussy who's sleeping with my husband".

I went over last week and she didn't know her youngest son to call him by name. My kids have seen her when she's been in and out of it, but the last time they saw her she was having a good day. Do I really want their last memories of her to be not knowing who they are? I was going to take them today, but I had to take a nap and my stomach felt like it was going to revolt on me. So I made the meeting with Admissions at Edison College, and that was it. I'm going to bed early (well, early for me) tonight too. If nothing changes between now and in the morning, we'll go over and just stay for a little while. Mom really thinks the kids should have a chance to say goodbye, but they won't know it's goodbye until after we leave. I'm not telling them "Granny is dying so say what you want to now!" They know Granny's been sick. They've heard me and Jim talking about her being gone. They've seen their Daddy holding me when I cried about Granny.

I think I'm just going to take them over like a normal visit, and after we get home reiterate that she's really sick and that we don't know how long she'll be with us. I might tell them that the doctors don't think she'll be here very much longer. That she'll be with Jesus and Grandaddy and the rest of the family who have gone before her. We've tried to sheild them without sheltering them, if that makes any sense. I don't want them to wake up and all of a sudden Granny is just GONE!

I'm afraid if I tell them beforehand that Tori and James will be so upset that it will upset Granny and make it worse for everyone concerned. You really don't know what Laine is thinking/feeling a lot of times. He's quieter about things like that than the other two. I don't know if they have told Granny that we called Hospice in and that she's dying. I don't know if she's lucid enough to comprehend it if she has been told.

There's a heck of a lot that I just don't know right now.

Blog giveaway's

In the last month, I have entered 2 contests for giveaways on bloggers' sites. Why do I do this? It took all of 30 seconds, but still between the two entries I have wasted a whole MINUTE of my life. LOL.

If I am going to the grocery store on the weekends, periodically the wkend boss will have me pick up some lotto tickets for her. I really hate it when she asks me to do that cause any measly little chance she had of winning went right out the window when I touched the ticket! Seriously, I'm like the kiss of death for games of chance. Poker, lotto, scratch offs, Triple Crown races...if money can be lost on it...I'm your girl! :)

Short sweet and to the point, because I am very tired and have to drive to Okeechobee tonight. zzzzzzz Nap Time zzzzzzzz

Book Trailers?

Can someone PLEASE tell me what the point is to book trailers? Is this a movie? No. Is it a TV show? No. Is it some straight to video thingamajig? No. Is it anything that is going to be played out in front of my eyes without me having to invest the time it takes to review the written work of an author? No.

So again, can someone please tell me why we now have all these "book trailers" and "video teasers" for the newest book coming out from some of my favorite authors?! Seriously need emoticons here... ARGH!!!!!! I know this is turning into more of a rant than anything else, but it's my blog...I can do stuff like that and get away with it!

I realize that if any of my friends from Karen Marie Moning's board read this, I may turn into persona non grata. That's okay, I can deal lol. I'm not watching any video trailer for the Fever series. And ya know what? I'm not gonna watch a based-on-the-book movie either. Every awsome-book-turned-into-a-movie has been certifiably HORRIBE!!!! Just plain awful! I read the Twilight books. More than once, I read the Twilight books. All of them. Multiple times. And ya know what, I'm not watching THOSE movies EITHER!!!!

So, if I have no intention of watching a movie based on a book I absolutely adore, why in the wide world of sports would I watch a TRAILER FOR A BOOK!!!!????

Okay, rant over.

Current Job

Have you ever had a job that you really wished you didn't have? Like the kind that you dread to go to when you wake up in the morning? Or the kind, to be more accurate, you don't want to go to sleep the night before because you know when your alarm clock goes off in the morning...you're going to have to GO to that job? The blood pressure raising, hair falling out, stressed to the max kind of job?

I have one of those at the moment. I'm trying to find a replacement for that one. I've been trying to find a replacement for a couple months now. I REALLY don't want to go there any more. BUT...without that income, I'm seriously in a pickle. Granted, it's not very much income, but it's the difference between making my bills with a little bit of working captial left over or not making my bills at all.

I'm tired of the stress associated with it. I'm tired of the aggrevation. I'm tired of the who did this, and why did you do that, and I wanted that done BEFORE you went to lunch (even though I kept you past the time you were SUPPOSED to go to lunch and your stomach was eating its way into your backbone), and come to find out...you didn't even do the thing that you were accused of not doing correctly!

The amount of money I get paid is just not worth the stress that is incorporated into this job.

Working on Mother's Day

While my normal outlook towards working on Mother's Day would be a total pity party, today has been great. I have an awesome boss at my weekend job. Easter weekend 2010, Lou Ann went to stay with her niece who lives in the same town as me. (2 blocks over actually) I went to work for 2.5 hours Saturday morning and that was it. I had ALL Easter Sunday off to be with my kids and family until it was time to head back to Wellington.

Lou Ann asked me if I wanted to go anywhere or do anything this weekend. With the heat wave Florida has been experiencing lately...NO!!!! She had me dress her in casual clothes this morning when we got ready for the day. She asked what I was getting for Mother's Day and I said, "Three carnations from the kids from church and three handmade cards. They typing paper folded in half kind." Then she sent me to The Olive Garden to pick up chicken alfredo for my Mother's Day Lunch! It was SO SWEET!

UGH about sums it up!

I'm hot, I'm sticky, I'm extremely filthy. I look around and realize...I'm not done yet! The Florida heat has driven my concrete chips covered self back into the house and AC. I need A SHOWER, to wash clothes, to figure out something for supper, to at least make a half-hearted attempt to do something with my bedroom, and a slew of other day-to-day things that are left to me to make up when DH (Dear Husband) is hurting too much to do.

What will I actually do? Cool shower then fill up the tub and sit there for a while hoping it will all go away by the time I get out. Hey, they say stranger things have happened. I'd like to know what and when, but that's what they say. :)